Over the course of the last week, I can honestly say I have not learned a whole lot academically. I haven’t put forth much effort this week, I have had an attitude, and I haven’t been very focused. What I did learn, is that I need to get my priorities straight when it comes to school and my learning environment. Once again, we are doing a project in groups. As I have expressed multiple times, I am not very good at working in groups, but, I know that this will be another learning experience for myself, and that once again, I’ll learn how to function in the real world, where I can’t just work alone for the rest of my life. Throughout the course of the week, I have also had to learn to push through something I don’t exactly like. I personally cannot stand the book that my group chose, but I have to learn to push through it anyways and just get it done. I will always have to deal and work with things in my life that I may not exactly like, and the sooner I learn to just deal with it, the better. I am going to just have to deal with this book, and look on the bright side until the project is over. I learned the importance of time management, and that one of the most important things, is to just do things when they are assigned, and not push them away until the last possible minute. I kind of have been just ignoring the fact that I have to have The Alchemist read, and it has come back to bite me, because now I have to spend my weekend reading it, which sucks. If I would’ve just managed my time better, and cared more about prioritizing my school work rather than maintaining a social life, I wouldn’t be in the predicament.
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Throughout the week, I learned to focus on a main idea and form my own opinion with it. Everyone has different perspective, everyone looks at things differently, and everyone feels differently about different topics. I learned this week the importance of finding a voice, and being able to express my opinions freely. Often times, I find myself to be one of those people that just glides through life, never really expressing my own opinion, in an attempt to to please everyone. I keep my opinions to myself in fear of being wrong or judged. I have often kept quiet about my opinions, especially academically. When working with partners on our notes for the writers workshop, I openly stated my opinion on internet tracking, and was able to discuss it, without major anxiety. This is actually a huge step for me. I feel as though through the weeks of work we have done so far in class, I have found a confidence when it comes to sharing my opinion. I know that this is a huge shock, because when it comes to anything else, you can’t get me to shut my mouth, but I have always been so worried about being wrong, that I often don’t share my answers in school. Learning how to voice myself has been a really big step for me. https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/confidence.html Over the last few weeks, while working on our critical theory project, I had to learn how to be an effective team member. I am one who often likes to work alone, I like generating my own ideas, writing in my own style that is convenient for me, and presenting in a tone in which I like. When you add three other group members to that process, it is really hard for me to work. It was very hard for me, because there were often times where I would get so frustrated by the difference of opinions and ideas, that I would literally shut down and stop working, because it was so hard for me. By the end however, I was able to help my group incorporate all of our different personalities and styles into what I believe was an excellent presentation and paper. My ADHD was really bad the last few weeks, and one thing that I had to do, was learn how to control it, and still work with my group well. This was a really hard task for me, but my group members did a really awesome job with keeping me on track. I learned something through this, that I thought I never would, that I can efficiently work without my ADHD getting out of control. Another major component that I had to learn, was time management. With a million snow days, and getting off task very easily, I had to learn how to get things done in a time crunch. I had to learn how to present with a group, not necessarily just work with them, and that was my biggest obstacle over the last week. I have a very distinct presentation style, I like to put myself into my presentations, and I present in a way that is definitely different than anyone else in the class. Therefor, trying to present with people that don’t do the same things as you, was hard for me, I had every slide planned out how I would present it, and when my group presented differently from that it stressed me out. But overall my group members did a fantastic job. http://blog.worldcampus.psu.edu/2014/05/how-to-work-well-with-others-the-psychology-behind-group-work/ This week, we started up “poem of the week” again, this time with two in one week rather than just a single poem. The two poems were rather challenging for me, and it took a lot before I understood the interpretations of them. I learned to challenge myself to share my ideas with the group, even though that I was afraid I would be wrong. We also started a critical theory project where we got into groups with people we have never worked with before. I am working with two other people, and we decided to use the psychological approach to the play, Macbeth. I learned a lot through this actually. Our critical thinking intro notes helped me narrow down the ideas that I had. When we picked psychological, I jumped the gun a little bit, and wanted to learn about every theory and idea I have ever learned in my three psych classes. But, we were able to narrow down our ideas, and focus on a few very important things, rather than just taking the full picture and running with it. One of the biggest challenges for me, was trying to be open to other people’s ideas. I am pretty well rounded with psych ideas, so I thought that my ideas were the best. It took a lot for me to listen to my group members, and take their ideas into consideration, they were actually really good ideas. I am a very stubborn and vocal individual, so submitting myself to other group members and their ways of thinking is very hard for me, and something that I need to work on more. This week, i learned a very valuable lesson, that the score of my multiple choice portion on the AP test is not everything. When I took the practice multiple choice test, I was slightly discouraged. I had hoped to do better than what I did, but then when we went back and looked at things, it wasn’t so bad. I saw that the majority of the answers that I had gotten wrong, were in large chunks. Most likely, this meant that those were pieces that I had misinterpreted, and then simply did not give the right answer because I interpreted them differently. This made me feel better about my score, and I know what to look for, and how to prepare better next time. I also worked on connecting themes in two different books, and then forming in depth questions and ideas on it. I picked the two books, Julius Caesar, and The Portrait of a Lady. These two books have very different ideas, plot lines, and tones, but yet I was able to find a similarity in both of them, free will. At first, it was hard to connect the two books, but once I understood what I was looking for I realized that the books that I chose did not have to be just alike, they just had to share a quality. https://apstudent.collegeboard.org/apcourse/ap-english-literature-and-composition/exam-practice Everyone’s idea of success and tragedy differ. Something that is seen as a huge accomplishment for someone, could be seen as a huge failure for someone else. We base our idea of what is good and bad based on the society and people we have grown up in. I have always set my idea of success slightly higher, due to the environment I have grown up in. My mom, did not attend college, and my dad never finished, so I have set my standards high in order to do better than they did. Success to me, has never been about achieving a 4.0 GPA or graduating top of my class, it has always been to go to college and earn a degree. This standard that I have placed on myself, differs from other people sitting around me in the classroom, and that’s the cool thing about interpreting tragic things and success. We focused on this a lot in class the last week, because it is often hard to sympathize with others, when our idea’s of success and failure are so different. It is hard for me to sympathize with my friends that find getting a B a tragedy, because a B is a solid grade for me, it’s not what I strive for, but if I work hard and get a B, that is a success for me, not a tragedy like it is for them. I really believe that tragedy depends on the people that we surround ourselves with, and the standards we place on ourselves due to the environment we grow up in. https://www.ted.com/talks/isaac_lidsky_what_reality_are_you_creating_for_yourself This week, we started a new unit, tragedy. I have found that in a way, tragedy is exactly what I thought it was, but at the same time, it's not. When discussing with a partner about if we could learn from tragedy or not, I got a new perspective on things, that opened my eyes a little more and helped me to think clearly. I had believed that you could not learn from tragedy, due to its randomized patterns and spontaneous. My partner Eric however, believed that you can always learn from a tragedy. After listening to both viewpoints, we came to the conclusion, that it is a balance of both. You can learn from major nation-wide tragedies that affect many people, but you can sometimes never learn from a tragedy that is personal. I learned too, that tragedy depends on perspective. Each person views tragedy and defines tragedy different, because we all come from different walks of life, and have different mindsets. Tragedy is all based upon viewpoint and emotional levels. For the rest of the trimester with AP lit, I’m going to try to stay on top of things, and learn to accept all different viewpoints, rather than just my own. I believe that this first trimester has been a very successful one, and I’ve surprised myself. In 12 weeks I have learned to work in a group on different things, take my stance on something and yet be open to others’ ideas, and stand in front of a class full of people and present a TED talk style presentation. I believe that I’m coming out of my shell in this class, and am going to blossom into my full potential by the time these three trimesters are over. http://study.com/academy/lesson/tragedy-in-literature-definition-characteristics-examples.html As I prepared for my presentation this week, all I could think of, was being a good tour guide. When talking about a topic that didn't necessarily interest me, I knew that as I was presenting, I had to act like it was the most interesting thing in the world. I referred to the many TED talks I have watched in my life time and remembered that the ones that stood out to me the most, were the ones that the speaker connected with the audience, and made the talk personal, so I knew that was what I had to do in my presentation. I have always been a bold person when I'm comfortable, and when I'm out of my shell, I am full of energy and passion, that I tried to channel into my presentation. When I have watched memorable TED talks, I noticed that I remembered the presenters that slipped personal stories into their talks, added some of themselves into it. When I presented, I feel like I did a good job doing that, and I'm proud of that. Although I was scared, I feel really good about what I did, and feel as though I expressed myself, and made my presentation something to capture the attention of the class. I believe that I was a good tour guide through my topic, and lived up to my expectations for myself.
https://www.princeton.edu/~archss/webpdfs08/BaharMartonosi.pdf This week we have been focusing almost all of our time on our first project of the class. I have been very stressed about this project from the very beginning. With every other project I've ever done, I've been given a strict rubric and outline of how the project should be done and presented. With this class however we must rely on our own brain and thinking, something that the education system has not well prepared me for. I have always been comfortable talking in front of people, I talk in front of my psych class at mid, and have done countless numbers of presentations in my lifetime, but yet this project is giving me so much anxiety. I believe that the only thing that will save me in this presentation, is the fact that I can connect with people, and that I present in a unique way. This project has been nothing like I expected it to be. It has caused me to dig deep into a topic that I thought I knew lots about, and proved to me, that I really did not understand the deeper parts of the topic as well as I thought I did. I have found myself getting off task a lot, but I have a hard time focusing, or even sitting still for that matter, so I think I’ve actually done a good job with my worth ethic. I am most of all ready for this project to be over so I can chill and not be so stressed, life of AP classes. http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/tips-to-control-stress 6 weeks are finally done in AP lit and we are finally to the end of the first marking period. I have enjoyed the first marking period, and learning with the class. In AP lit, I have been mentally challenged, and I have enjoyed it. We started a projected this week, and I at first was very confused about the whole thing. After the project was explained, it made more sense, and I was excited to get started on it. This class has brought me a lot of stress, but in a good way. We worked on our creative writing, and I this has been by far my favorite part of the class thus far. The creative writing piece really caused me to draw out emotions in myself that I wasn't even aware were there. Creative writing, was different than any other type of writing I have ever done in an English class, and I have enjoyed finally doing something different. In my years of writing for school, we have been writing for someone, some sort of audience that we have to please. My favorite part of creative writing, is that the piece of writing, is for ourselves, and it brings out these untouched, raw feelings, that would have never come out. I believe that this class is going to challenge me in completely new ways.
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March 2017
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